Sometimes (well, most of the time honestly) my own brain is my biggest saboteur. Last year sometime I decided I wanted to write about my experiences with some games. I wrote about Hollow Knight and how completing it was kinda life-changing, and I wrote about Outer Wilds and how streaming impacted my experience and enjoyment of the game. I then played Death Stranding and that game is so… different and yet familiar… I had so much that I wanted to say about it, so many thoughts swirling around in my head. As I was playing, and shortly after, I made about 2,000 words of notes to prepare to write about it. I sat down on multiple occasions to write about it and just… could NOT wrangle all the swirly thoughts and messy lines of notes into anything coherent. I couldn’t even work out how to start it.
So… because in my head the next blog post I was going to write was about Death Stranding, and I couldn’t formulate my thoughts into a blog post about Death Stranding… my blog was jammed. Any time I came close to thinking up a new topic to write about, some nasty little voice went “NO! you gotta write about Death Stranding!” so I just… didn’t write.
I kinda hoped that the post I did a little while ago about party games would help free me up a bit. It didn’t. I then hoped maybe I could use the new year to trick myself but unfortunately, my utter disdain for contrived traditions and arbitrary dates won out and despite thinking privately to myself that maybe “a blog a day” was the big ambitious project I needed for the year, I rebelled against it as a very notion.
But, ultimately, I really want to get back to writing. I feel like (and this is just a personal thing, very much not saying this applies to anyone else) when I am writing frequently I am a more interesting, more articulate, more thoughtful person. So I’ve spent several days coiling myself up to spring into writing this post that doesn’t even actually go anywhere. So if you have spent your precious time reading this post, I am very sorry for wasting it.
I’m trying to force myself into it. Somehow. Doing it here publically on my blog is purely for my own edification also – I struggle to write in a journal or whatever because I can’t get over the “pointless” feeling of writing something nobody will ever read – I am working on this in the background but for now, you all get to share in my reentry into the realm of writing.
If any of you have any thoughts, tips, advice, hacks, or words of encouragement, I would really love to hear them – drop a comment below.